A DIY Bride is a Lonely Bride Here’s How to Not Let That Happen
With every peony that opens, we know that wedding season is upon us. I just love weddings, I really do. Through my experience and watching my friends getting married I have noticed a similar theme. A bride who is doing it alone can be a lonely bride so we thought we would share how not to make that happen. Brides often don’t ask for help because they either don’t want too many people to know what their wedding is going to look like or they confide in the people who hinder more than they help.
Wow, that sounds so bad. I don’t mean it like that. I am lucky I have an easy going family on both sides. They want to get involved and help as much as they can. A few times they haven’t gotten the vibe of my wedding But at the same time, they have just gone with it.
My mum didn’t like my flower choices
“Pink, yellow AND orange darling? no, you just don’t need that many colours, you can have pinks, creams and lilacs, but yellow is just stretching my florist integrity”
As she prized the orange Chrysanthemums out of my hand.
She was confused when I said no roses. Wait till she sees the Dahlias I am growing and hoping to add to my bouquet. haha. Tea roses are fine, I just don’t want them stealing the show and I want lots of freesias as they smell the best. When we set the wedding table as a mock-up she retracted her statement and said it looked lovely and vibrant (still no orange but I may just sneak some peach in). But if I had a pushy mum I may be getting a hand full of roses instead or what I actually want which is the wildflower (hardly) meadow look.
Which I won’t be tossing!
My point was that sometimes the people closest to us already have a vision of our day and that doesn’t match ours. Little comments can upset an already flustered bride and sometimes it is easy for us to give in. To please the people we love and who are helping us. But I am not a young bride nor a traditional one and our friends and family understand this about us. I do have to keep saying that this is not a traditional wedding. That bridesmaids can do speeches, that the bride doesn’t have to wear white (I gave in to that HTB request). That I will not obey, and yes I too will do a speech at my wedding.
My mum has been amazing, communication has been key. She often gets me sending emails of things I have seen and now that she sees the vision absolutely loved it. It did take a while to show everyone what we want for our day.
WE, that’s another thing you are already a team you and your partner need to work together to reflect the same vision. He needs to back you up and not compromise without you.
I can’t wait to get married.
But I am lucky. I have had friends whose parents have insisted on traditions and been upset by the compromise. They gave in because it didn’t seem worth the fight, flowers, menu, guest list, entertainment, bridesmaid dresses, veil. Not getting what you want and dreamed of causes you stress, guilt, regret and loneliness. Taking to your friend about can help relieve the stress because they will have your back no matter what.
DIYing is a whole other level of stress and isolation especially if you don’t share the workload. Whether you are a DIY bride or getting someone to help organise it for you it is so easy to get to browse the wedding section and be inspired. Some of that inspiration may trickle into your own wedding. Sometimes that inspiration can overwhelm you and your workload. Have you checked out our Pinterest board? It is full of DIY without crazy lists that link back to other blogs.
I know, I have already tried them all out.
Doing it all by yourself no matter how talented you are can leave you lonely and isolated. This isn’t a good place to be in. Time-saving and crafty friends are willing to help so let them. We keep talking about a healthy mind on our blog and “me time”. It’s important to make time for yourself, so do it. But it is more important to help yourself by asking for help. Just be clear in what you want. Make a mock up if you have time. This will only save you money if it is achievable.
Without going into too much detail the Cricut machine I bought last year has been a blessing. It has made cards, invites, you name it, it is so simple. All I do is scan in any template, clean it up and cut it out. I can do it all on my phone and create things instantly. I cut out 48 mini bunting flags with it whilst I had a shower! This marvellous machine though not cheap has spared me hours of handcrafting.
How is that for time-saving.
If you have a die cutting machine this will do the same job but I love my Cricut, it’s the best. My sister-in-law loved it so much she bought one too and we can’t stop raving about how efficient it is.
If you have time to DIY there is nothing better. You feel pride about creating something with your own two hands. It makes it feel so much more personal even if it was inspired by Pinterest.
I have enlisted a lot of help for my wedding and if people you know are offering to help, then let them. This doesn’t mean you have to share your whole vision just what you want them to help with. I have had my friend add sparkle to my wedding shoes (I have 4 pairs and can’t decide). I have another friend source my napkins and I have ombre hand dyed 60 so far.
This includes your partner. Sometimes they are less crafty than us, sometimes they are better than we are. There is no excuse. I had mine adding double sided tape to our complicated 3D invites (they are not very elaborate) he said he couldn’t fold so I gave him another job. This helped me and maybe saved me half an hour of invite making.
DIY Bride is a Lonely Bride
Look I love crafting I do. When my best friend was getting married, I was so excited imagining all the bits we could do together. Except she didn’t involve me to much and the pressure fell on her. There were times she was really tense and other times she was calm. I have learned from her. I have asked my bridesmaids to take part in. To help me out. To source dresses, shoes. But too many projects put a lot of pressure on yourself. I am still doing a lot by myself. The pressure is building on my shoulders for this one day. But we both want is to be special for us and our gifts. It is a lot of money we are spending so every penny counts.
So ask for help if you need it. Everyone wants to to be a happy bride, not a lonely one.
Don’t take on too many projects!
Enjoy the process.